#nowplayin "A milli". At work today kickin it @another station and i decided to bang out a post. I was recently talking to one of my exes who happens to be a legit friend of mine now... legit as in she's not pussy in a glass container thats labeled "break in case of emergency" she's actually a good friend but alas lets jump back on topic... so... she's talking to one of her good friends whom I'd also consider a mutual friend of mine granted this friend is pretty... reckless as hell!!! but hell I'm reckless too... most people who are described as reckless are just brutally honest (unnecessarily so @times but never the less) but anyway the friend of the ex says she was mad as hell that the ex decided to mess with me in her words "of all the dudes you chilled with you decided to mess with him". So most people would be super offended if this was directed @them but me i kinda took it in stride because I'm often slept on. most of the time it takes people to know me on a deep interpersonal level to understand what type of person i am. which i guess in a way is a gift and a curse. Everybody would like to have this grand outside appearance so that more people would have a positive perception of them but i look @it as that's just more people trying to fill the circle... honestly i like the people i love but I've never been a fan of having a big circle of people. realistically right now my circle of people not committed to me by law or blood only consist of 4 folks... 3 D's and a J... so back to this convo my ex said she kinda stepped in to defend me (which I'm sure she was also defending her taste in men... which hell i can understand lol). this whole getting slept on theme has been like my life story... really i could take it back to being... pause #nowplayin "Shawty Say" (which is funny appropriate) unpause... a 2 or 3 year old because i couldn't talk... yeah when i was in pre-K i actually had not started talking and i would point at stuff from what i was told... this would naturally lead to folks looking @my mom thinkin "ur baby is retarded... or at least a lil slow". Grade school it was well known by the school staff that i was in counseling for my anger and just overall ability adjust in school and on medication for my ADHD. This naturally lead to my teachers thinking "this kid is smart but will he ever live a productive life" honestly there are just mad examples i could run through of being slept on... and i still face it today working a job dominated by +30 year old white men... i guess that's just how its gonna be til i"m in the ground... but its cool tho because i really rather this extreme than the other... there's no pressure on you when people don't think a whole ton about you. probably why i gotta think highly of myself... but yeah it is what it is. but in retrospect maybe i just thought too much into the comment... which i tend to do at times. maybe she just thought one of those big ass, corn fed, look like they grew up next to a silo and a cotton field football players would be a better fit for her (insert kanye shrug). I think i need to give intros to the major players in my life... I'll try to hit that in some future post. either way the underdog role works for me. I actually can be caught wearing my underdog T-shirt to the gym... well yall be blessed... i'll holla on the next one.
No comments:
Post a Comment